I, for one, need to take it less seriously. If I didn’t feel like it wouldn’t last, I often did not often even take a chance. Someone said this to me though, what if you get to miss out on the emotions we get to experience in the 20s?
The thing is, I’ve always wanted to find a partner in life. I have always wanted my own family. At work, I was surrounded by people with kids and a partner, and sometimes they would whisper to me. “Don’t settle down so fast. You have plenty of time.” At the same time, I could imagine my days being filled with so much more joy with a little one to go home to and a partner I could chart my life with.
I’m in Korea now, and I think dating in Korea makes it different. There seem to be strict standards and theories for what it means to have a relationship that is meant for marriage. And perhaps that is not such a terrible thing, but it makes things complicated.
For instance, for many families in Korea, a marriage means a coming together of two communities beyond just two people.
If you start really just meeting people based on criteria, how do you know if he/she is right for you? You really don’t. Someone that makes sense theoretically may not be “the one” for you.
People say your partner should make you feel empowered, beautiful, and a best version of yourself. At the same time, it takes a lot of self-love, wisdom, and stability to love another.
What I’m coming down to is that it is about how you feel when you’re with the person. As long as fundamental values and hearts are shared, everything else you can work towards building together. One thing I would say is observe if his/her words matches the action.
Life is incredibly unpredictable. We also change and evolve over time. I do believe though that certain qualities withstand through the turbulences of life. Someone you can trust and share the same center of life at the very least will stay consistent beyond all else – a bond for all unexpected turns of events to come. What I’m now working on is being just myself – expressing all that I can, sharing who I am in all shapes and sizes. I only hope I’ll be able to better find someone who can also find themselves sharing the same fundamental values together.